Firm Thighs by Liz23

music and lyrics, vocals: liz sumner
backing vocals: mary armstrong
instruments: michael cohen

firm thighs

dip dee dip dee dip firm thighs

his girfriend is a physicist
a brilliant conversationalist
describe her looks, where to begin
her lustrous hair, her flawless skin
the starlight in her eyes
but she hasn't got firm thighs

i wake each day at half-past five
for muscle fitness i must strive
i run ten miles and back again
for how will i appeal to men
attracting them like flies
if i haven't got firm thighs

noble goals like ozone holes and gun controls and no mink stoles
might save our souls but harris polls say no one holds them vital
bigger hair, more clothes to wear with midriff bare, designed to dare
the men to stare-- let's clear the air, that's all we care about

accomplishments and high iq's
are not the traits that people choose
so shallow, vain, and half as bright
as long as there's no cellulite
they'll always get the guys
with long, luscious, french-cut
non-jiggling short-shorts
strong, healthy tan firm thighs