The New You by The Figurants from Seattle United States

You know, your stupid horse jokes aren’t amusing
You’re making the whole thing more confusing.
So this “New You” is a lot like the “Old You”
Except now you don’t use staples to hold together your shoes

I don’t know how much more I can take
Taking your woes on the road was a big mistake
Even if you come back here kinda stronger
Even if this path takes you a little longer

So the “New You” is a lot like the “Old You”
Neither of you could hold onto your booze
We all know you’re so good at words
I don’t know how you’ll top what you said to Earl

But the lack of ice in your glass should be a warning
I doubt you’ll be able to see me come the morning